There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize