Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
