when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize