"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
