I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
