I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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