I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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