2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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