it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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