I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
