There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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