me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize