im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
