it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize