I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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