Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
