he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
