Can Purell be used as lube?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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