so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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