Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
