You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
