So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
