i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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