I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
