In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it glows. i had to have it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
