ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
