My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
