the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
