I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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