Your tits are I can't wait for
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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