Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize