i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize