i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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