We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
