Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
