Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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