o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
