Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
