Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
