okay pat passed out under dana's car
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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