when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
