Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
