Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We are all done wearing pants today
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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