he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
