You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
