I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize