I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
