Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
