she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize