I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
