Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Randomize
