he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
