He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
