First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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