Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
