You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
