hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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