I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
