why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
