seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
