oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
