On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We're too hungover to prance.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
